if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
