Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize