you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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