My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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