Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
