Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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