got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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