Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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