discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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