How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize