I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
