I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
