i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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