my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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