whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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