I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
