He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
