It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
