Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
