well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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