I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
