covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm drive I can fine osifer
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
