I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
