Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
