Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
