The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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