He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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