One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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