I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
