I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
