Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
