i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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