Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize