I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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