I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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