I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Small penises have feelings too.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
