IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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