no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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