Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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