so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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