party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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