You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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