please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
