Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
