yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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