So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
