ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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