We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
