Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
