i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This girl is more easily done than said...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
