my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
