i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
