It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
