Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize