: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
