yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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